Posted 3 days ago

I know that feel… - Imgur

Posted 1 month ago

squishythegummybear:

vintae:

How To Decorate Mushroom and Star Cookies (by SweetAmbs)

OMF

Posted 1 month ago

strawberryjizzbomb:

fake-suicide-of-genius:

theyearoftherequiem:

frenums: 

skeleton smartypants was defeated once and for all

THE REACTION FACES JUST MAKE THIS 84927 TIMES FUNNIER

This is my kind of humor

Posted 1 month ago

buzzfeed:

This 13-year-old boy got suspended for wearing a Vera Bradley purse.  

(Source: BuzzFeed)

Posted 1 month ago

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tothejamjar:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

DEATH HONHONHON

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago
Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.
Stephen Fry (via feellng)
Posted 1 month ago

closeyoureyesandjump:

My Favourite Individuals:

Richard Ayoade/∞ 

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 2 months ago

ruinedchildhood:

Rugrats was deep.

Posted 2 months ago

lotrlockedwhovian:

punkrockdirection:

sometimes i forget im a real person

this is such a weird thing but I understand.

Posted 2 months ago

annebancrofts:

I remember when we were rehearsing the hotel scene, he [Mike Nichols] took me into a corner and said, ‘Do you remember the first time you had any action at all?’ And I said yeah. It was a sweater feel. I was in junior high school, playing the piano, doing Al Jolson in blackface, if you can believe that, and this girl was in the show, and we were waiting to be called. And we’re kind of attracted to each other, but I can’t get too close to her because of the blackface. And somehow, at one point, I put my hand on her breast.

"Mike said, ‘Let’s do that scene again, and do that to Annie. Don’t tell her. Just find a place to do it.’ So I got up behind her, and just as she takes her sweater off, I put my hand on her breast. And she was brilliant. She just looked at it, and then went back to her sweater, taking a stain out or something. And I started to break. I took my hand off her breast and I turned away and thought, I’m gonna get fired, because breaking is the worst thing you can do. I turned my back on her and Nichols and walked over to the wall and started banging my head against it. And he goes into hysterics. He said, ‘That’s in the movie.’

- Dustin Hoffman 

Posted 2 months ago
People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all… has happened.
Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail (via wevegotsandonus)
Posted 2 months ago